Perspective is everything. 

As my son was heading out to school this morning, he forgot his wallet. One of my “crazy” rules is that we don’t wear shoes inside. So he takes off his shoes, runs upstairs, grabs the wallet, puts his shoes back on, and then remembers that he left his keys upstairs. Once again, he bolts upstairs, grabs the keys, and then literally tumbles down the steps. He was so upset and angry when he hit the ground and starts telling me that my “no-shoes-in-the-house” rule is the reason he fell and is now late for school. I say, "Sweetie,  I cooked you a homemade breakfast and prepared your lunch today while you were chilling on the couch. I asked you if you have everything ready and you told me that you did.” He was still fuming so I definitely didn’t want him to drive to school in that state. When I told him he had to cool down before getting in the car, he became even angrier, worrying about being late to school. I could see him becoming more and more anxious about the repercussions of being late. So, I had to snap him out of it. 

I told him to take some deep breaths and tell me the worst possible result of being late. He said he would get in trouble. I assured him that the only person he needed to worry about getting into trouble with was me and he was free and safety is, by far, the most important thing. Then he said he was angry that he can't wear shoes in the house. I then asked Spencer to repeat after me: “If not being allowed to wear my beautiful shoes in my beautiful home where I had homemade French toast today is my worst problem, then I am a lucky person". I asked him to repeat it with me a few times. He humored me and then…he got it!  He understood that he is beyond lucky and was brought back to the moment.  His state immediately shifted. He might have been a bit late for school but he left calm and safe.  I’ll take a teachable moment over a perfect attendance record any day. 

Lots of love, 

Elise